Michael McIntyre(Live at The Apollo season3 episode3) ③
こんにちは。Micheal McIntyle(マイケル・マックインタイル)の3回目からとなります。
Youtubeの動画は以下となります。マイケルが実践している効率的な歩き方の話からです。
■引用
This is how you walk, by the way.
My son's got it now. With your legs.
Yeah, baby. And the arms get involved.
Isn't it odd?
Your arms do this. Your legs do most of the work, but your arms think,
"I'm gonna do something."
Cos it looks odd if you don't
This is odd, isn't it?
You're saving energy in your arms, just a bit, but it just hasn't caught on.
Why do we just conform to one way of walking?
If you use the same amount of energy with the natural arm swing, but go together, you actually propel yourself.
I'm moving twice as fast as the average walker.
People are walking normally and I go flying past.
"What are you doing?" "I'm winning, that's what I'm doing."
And I've also felt, as I'm sure everyone in this room has as well, that skipping, although socially unacceptable ..for anyone above the age of six, is a remarkably easy way of moving.
We've all thought this. You put in hardly any effort at all and you just start moving around very easily.
Cos running is difficult, but skipping is magnificent.
So what I'm doing now, by combining the two
Woo-hoo!
"So what I'm doing now, by combining the two"
両手を同じタイミングで振ることとスキップを組み合わせて走り回るという、軽快だけど珍妙な動きを披露しています。この辺りの姿は国など関係なく滑稽ですね。
APPLAUSE
I'm practically flying!
I've just seen a sports person.
There you go, Matt Dawson.
World Cup-winning Matt Dawson*1!
APPLAUSE
Rugby's a real man's game, isn't it, Matt?
Would you say?
How about dancing? How's that?
I like the refs in rugby cos you can hear them.
They're miked up.
It's hilarious cos they're very posh*2, rugby players.
Footballers and rugby players are complete opposites.
Footballers are very pretty and everything happens "at the end of the day".
"At the end of the day I got up at the end of the day.
"I had breakfast at the end of the day.
"everything happens "at the end of the day"
at the end of the day は、"結局のところ"といったidiomですね。
フットボール選手が頻繁に使うことをネタにして、文字通り一日の終わりに全て起こると笑いにしています。（一日の終わりに、目覚めたとか、朝食を食べたとかですね＾＾；。。。）
"The ball's come to me, I got me head on it, it's gone in, three points, one game at a time"
Whereas*3 rugby players look like they should be in cages.
You see them at the national anthem.
# God save our gracious*4 Queen #
Then they speak and they're so posh.
"Congratulations.
How do you think the game went?"
"I thought the gents*5 were superb*6."
And the referees shout at them like they're children.
"You, come here, you, number 9. Yes, you. And you!
"I want you here! Right
"You say you're sorry to him!"
POSH ACCENT:
"Well, he bloody*7 started it!"
"Go to the sin bin!"
What is the sin bin*8?
Is it some kind of Catholic skip area?
"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned*9."
"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."
スポーツのSin bin（ペナルティを受けた選手が入るボックス）について、単純にルール上設けられたエリアだと思いますが、 ”Sin bin？ 神への懺悔する場か？ 神よお許し下さい、、、と意味を捉え違えて笑いにしていますね。
At the football, you don't know what referees are saying.
They're very dramatic and camp*10.
"You, come here!
"You, come here. I want you here!
"Everyone else, fuck off. It's you!
"I'm not listening, I'm not listening, I'm not listening.
"I'm booking*11 you. Now fuck off!"
APPLAUSE
Are you gonna try that next game?
If you're one on one on the wing and some big Samoan is standing there going, "Arrrgh!"
Are you just gonna go, "Ohhhh Woo-hoo!"
That'll freak him out. "Oh-oh-oh!"
MIMICS HAKASo the winter's drawing in*12. We never even had a summer.
It was depressing.
Nothing happened except there was a great deal of rain.
More rain ever, since records began!
Not that we know what that means.
There was this strange period in history with no records at all.
People would go in fields slightly different to yesterday.
"Is anybody writing this down?"
And after a period of time,
somebody said, "Enough's enough*13,
I will write this down!
"I would like to announce that records have begun."
That first day must've been a record-breaking day!
"It's the hottest, wettest, windiest day since records began this morning.
I've only just started."
Who cares about the wind?
"It willbe a stiff north-easterly breeze."
I'm not sailing to work.
I don't give a shit!*14
I'll leave later.
With a tail wind*15, I'll be there in half the time!
Then the clocks are gonna change on a Saturday night.
Nobody knows it's gonna happen.
It's the same every year.
You only find out late on Saturday night.
You overhear*16 somebody.
"What? The clocks have changed?
Tonight? Which way, which way?"
"They go back? Is that the good one, is that the good one?
"Is that the good one?"
How many years do we need to be alive before we know when they change?
An extra hour, woo-hoo!
The only thing we can look forward to this winter is snow.
The weather's terrible, but snow is the Holy Grail*17.
And normally, we get one day of snow and you've got to hope that it snows overnight, so you can be snowed in.
Earlier this year, it snowed in the middle of the day.
You don't want that.
I was waiting for my bus. There's no tube.
The bus is already there.
It's even more frustrating.
I'm waiting for the driver.
We've got everything we need.
You're looking for people.
"Can you drive this thing?"
That's when the snow came.
Amazing, instantly landing snow.
The best, most unbelievable snow.
Then I realised,
"Oh, my God, I could get snowed OUT!
This is not what I need."
The driver shows up.
He says, "I regret to inform you, due to the chaos on the roads"
It's been snowing eight seconds!
"It's been snowing eight seconds!"
バスのドライバが雪が降ったことが道路の混乱の原因だと言っていますが、実はたった8秒雪が降っただけだと説明しています。これは確かにひどい＾＾；。 どんなに雪に弱いのだ。 ロンドンの電車やバスは日本よりはるか停止することが多いですが、さすがに8秒の雪で大きな影響を受けることは無いような気がします。
"We're cancelling the bus.
There will be no running of this service."
We're like, "How are we supposed to get home?"
He said, "Don't shout at me. I live at the other end of this bus route."
We're like, "How are YOU gonna get home?"
He says, "There's only one thing to do - walk. It's the only way."
I'm like, "Fine." So we walked the bus route, led by the driver.
We came to the first stop.
We had to tell the people waiting
there's no bus.
And they joined our imaginary bus.
It was getting bigger and bigger.
I looked behind us.
I could see the next imaginary bus.
Not a bus, just people walking, and it was catching up fast.
They had no-one to pick up from the stops.
The driver said, "When we get to the next stop, don't tell them anything.
They can get on the next one."
I said to the woman next to me, "This is hilarious.
We're on an imaginary bus.
This is funny, right?"
I was doing most of the talking, then she said, "I'd love to chat, but this is my stop."
She got off at an actual bus stop, then walked in the direction we had just come from.
I thought, "To hell with this!
I'm walking. Woo-hoo!"
Thank you very much,
ladies and gentlemen. Good night!
"She got off at an actual bus stop, then walked in the direction we had just come from."
バスが止まったので、バスの運転手に先導されてバスルートを歩いて帰ることにしたけど、一緒に歩いていたおばさんが、バス停までわざわざ歩いてきて、その後、きた道を歩いて帰ったというオチですね＾＾；。
まあ、作り話かとは思いますがくすっと笑ってしまうようなエピソードですね。
ではでは。
*2:posh:気取って、上品ぶって
*3:whereas:～に反して
*4:gracious:丁重な、親切な、やさしい、恵みあふれる
*5:gent:gentlemanの略。仲間達の意味か
*6:superb:素晴らしい
*7:bloody:ひどく
*8:sin bin:ペナルティを受けた選手が入るボックス
*9:sin:罪を犯す
*10:camp:(こっけいなほど)気取った
*11:book:反則者を記録する
*12:be drawing in:早くやってくる。
*13:enough is enough:もうたくさんだ
*14:not give a shit: 知ったことではない
*15:tail wind:追い風
*16:overhear:ふと耳にする
*17:the Holy Grail:キリストが最後の晩餐で用いた聖杯
